The kind of woman she taught me to be.
YOU are the choice point of the lineage.
The kind of woman She taught me to be.
She is not a person, or a role, but a Force that penetrates
An intergenerational undercurrent that vibrates
Through every fiber of my being.
She is what she taught me to believe is real and true about myself.
Chained.
To a reality that maps not to my internal cues, but to the stories of the culture.
In her eyes, I see my reflection.
Terrified.
Of being in the presence of deafening silence.
A definite threat…
Rage, cursing through my body.
“She is supposed to protect me!”
Interrupt it.
Focus elsewhere – anywhere! But here.
Ignore, pretend, avoid, deny, defend, dismiss.
Stonewall – don’t you dare engage.
The normalization of women.
Told to be kind is to never say ‘no’.
Especially to her.
Her pain. Her story. Her despair. Her sacrifice. Her way of life.
To “honour” her, we sacrifice ourselves.
Our voice.
Our truth.
Our moment.
In that perpetual nano-second, we become just like her.
Only slightly different.
Because each new generation bears a heavier load.
Such is the nature of compounded interest.
The more we take on, the more we will take on…
And our daughters know it.
But they don’t dare speak it.
They protect it.
With their life.
My heart bleeds and my eyes swell up –
This is not right!
godForces asleep, creating godForce messes.
Fear holds them up…
From engaging.
And in doing so, they pass the burden on to their daughters…
Who pass it on to their daughters…
Until this godForce iteration completes itself.
Mothers, asleep.
Daughters, failing sleep…
Until…
They, too, forget…
Pent-up rage,
Directed at all the wrong places.
That internal dialogue of powerlessness prevails.
The shame of it isn’t ours to carry,
Yet you hear it in the womb,
Repeated.
With the same rhythm of the heart…
Soothing you into compliance.
Before you’re even born.
How can you know the difference between what’s real and what’s true for you
when all you hear is your mother’s thoughts?
On a loop,
In your head.
Differentiation, as I have come to discover, is pure power.
Pure joy.
Pure freedom.
To know the essence of me,
Different than that of the essence of you.
Interconnected,
But never the same.
Free to choose each other,
Not out of obligation, fear, or resentment.
But out of deep RIG for the Truth of who we each are.
I’ve heard this many times – if you love someone, let them go…
Yet we keep holding on to what isn’t working.
Hoping…
Passive in our commitment to life,
Just in case we offend.
Just in case she will not choose to be saved.
Just in case she will not approve.
And the truth is…
She will never evolve beyond the permission granted to her by her lineage.
Will you?
What’s demanded of you is not an easy task –
To give yourself permission…
To individuate.
To differentiate.
To become the truth you embody.
Because it matters to you.
And it matters to your daughter.
After all, she models after you,
She wants to be just like you…
You are the middle point between what was,
And what will be.
You are the choice point of the lineage.
That’s a lot of sacred responsibility.
It’s time – interrupt the inheritance.
You get to choose –
Live under the spell of your intergenerational history?
OR
Break the cycle,
And break, your lineage, free?
📰 For a compilation of my poems, check out my short book, Fecund Darkness.
🎧 If you’ve spent years taking care of everyone else, it can be hard to know how to turn that attention inward — or even where to begin.
The Women Awakening audio series offers you that starting point.
A classic from the WEL-Systems® body of work, this 6-part audio experience is an invitation to see yourself differently. To step into a process that reconnects you with the truth of your own experience, through the intelligence of your body.
There is no process without the body. Thought is not enough.
— Louise LeBrun